obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
