mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
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