Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Randomize
