like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
home. puking in laundry basket.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Randomize
