my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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