Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
