You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
