just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
