found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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