Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
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I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
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I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
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