You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I need to align my fucking chakras
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
