Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
