once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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