My friends, they love my intelligence
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
