I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
