Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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