And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
