You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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