We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
She is in my trunk
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
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