nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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