Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
