a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
