I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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