1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Randomize
