Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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