Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
