im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
I think a kid would responsible me up
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Randomize
