you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Just pee around me
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
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