I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
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