had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Randomize
