So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Randomize
