Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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