dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
