wanna go halves on a baby?
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
