It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
