if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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