You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
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