Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
