you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
they're like a gay fantastic four
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Randomize
