when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
