i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
