gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
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