It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
