I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
