I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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