I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Randomize
