Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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