So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
