I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Randomize
