Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
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