Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
