there's paper in my vomit.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
