I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
