Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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