Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
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