Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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