butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
