please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
third nipple confirmed
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
