So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
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Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
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You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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