We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Can you bring me the toilet please
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
