it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
