i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Randomize
